When the first episode of RHOA aired four seasons ago, I was pretty pissed off. I live in Atlanta, I know Atlanta, and these chicks have nothing to do with the real housewives of Atlanta, especially the wealthy ones. It would take too long to chronicle the many ways in which these housewives are nothing like real Atlanta housewives of means, so for the sake of brevity let’s just stipulate: In.Every.Possible.Way. I found them all pretty vile. I say that now, so perhaps you will excuse what I am going to say about them today. I get it. I do. But Lord help me, they are growing on me.
Take Kim Zolciak for example. I know for the first three seasons she was to put it bluntly crude, rude and socially unacceptable. That said, I am looking forward to a calmer, gentler Kim this season. I’ve recently begun following Kim, Kroy and Brielle on twitter and they seem to have a really sweet little family and I think Kim has finally grown-up and grown into someone we my all learn to like this season. Her upcoming wedding, this Friday should be spectacular in its ostentation and I am tempted to hang around outside to watch what happens live, if you will. I will offer Kim this bit of advice. Stop talking about Big Poppa. He should be nothing more than a memory. He’s lost a lot of his wealth since you and he split up anyway and is financially unstable at the moment. Take care of Kroy and make sure he sticks around, your kids adore him and so does the dog. Speaking of the dog, I know everyone loves a teacup Pomeranian but seriously, is there not a reality TV dog with good hair?
Kandi Burruss is throwing herself into her many businesses to compensate for not having a man in her life at the moment. I’m just sorry that the one business Bravo is going to focus on is her sex toy business, Bedroom Kandi. I’m a girl who is down with the toys, but I think this will be off putting to much of her fanbase. There is only so much “shocking talk” about toys any of us want to see on TV and it seems very season three to me. In the premiere, when she arrived late to the sex toy store (that was not hers) to meet Phaedra and Sheree she arrived dressed like Heidi. I was expecting her to yodel next to the strap-ons or something. The scene with Phaedra flopped over the sex furniture in several not so southern belle poses was uncomfortable and unnecessary. I love Kandi, but she is going to need a real storyline.
Which brings us to Cynthia, beautiful, fragile, Cynthia. I haven’t figured her out exactly yet. She’s either a fragile flower or outsmarting us all. I must say that her scenes at Vickery’s in Glenwood Park with Miss J, runway coach extrodinaire, seemed a bit strained. But Miss J was the highlight of the entire episode. Love him! Her comment to Nene later that she managed to throw together fifty people for Miss J to instruct indicated this was a last minute decision by Bravo to get someone interesting to show up to make the whole shoot more interesting. She doesn’t seem to know if she is in fact opening The Bailey Agency or The Bailey School of Modeling when this scene was shot which was almost the moment the doors opened. I think this could be a great storyline if they show her working with one or two potential models and we watch their growth over the season. Sadly, I am worried that based on previews, her storyline is going to be about her relationship with Peter which seems to be full of peaks and valleys. Even more unsettling is that she seems to have been cast in the role of “Nene’s friend”. Between Nene’s crocodile tears after Sheree owned her over some sweet wine, which apparently is the closest thing to Maddog 20/20 they sell in Atlantic Station fine dining establishments, and her Kelly Bensimonesque comment about Nene being “up here” while the other girls are “down around here”, I don’t think this is the best role for Cynthia. I really hope she rips up her friendship contract with Nene and sends her a notarized letter signed by Obama dissolving the relationship. Sadly, based on her tweets, this does not happen.
Next week we see Nene, Cynthia and Kandi on a beach trip to Miami. I hope that Kandi decides after that trip to jump the chasm and stand with Kim, Sheree and Phaedra during the drama that is sure to come.
What were your thoughts on the premiere?