Welcome back, the few, the embarrassed the Teen Mom fans. And thanks to the brave souls that actually comment on these posts. I feel like most of us watched this a million years ago when it all started and now, we just can’t stop watching the trainwreck.
But first, Janelle has officially copped to being pregnant with the latest criminal she is sleeping with, David Eason. It’s a girl, and the have already named it Ensley Jolie Eason. She claims her due date is January 28th. I predict it will “come early” sometime in December.
But wait, there’s more, Nathan, baby daddy #2 of 3 was arrested again this week. It appears that despite moving on to some new idiot girlfriend a couple of months ago, Nathan went to Jessica’s (who I believe was the last idiot sleeping with this fool, that we saw and the show and the one Janelle attacked) house and broke in during the night and tried to choke her out while begging her to get back together with him. Didn’t Janelle claim he climbed in her window after they broke up?
Okay back to the OG clan.
Ryan and his latest girlfriend have broken up. Ryan looks like he has gained a lot of weight. He also looks a bit depressed. Maybe he can go to depression camp with Catelynn. Meanwhile, his dad wants him to find someone to settle down and give him another grandbaby. Ryan is another gene pool we don’t need to dip into anymore.
Maci is planning her wedding. And by planning her wedding I mean gluing glitter on to wine glasses. She is still not copping to being pregnant. Later Maci asks if she is fat. There is no way on earth she doesn’t know she is pregnant. This is not her first or even her second rodeo. She finally takes a pregnancy test that she just happens to have laying around. And what do you know. She’s pregnant. She gave birth to her third child, a boy they named Maverick on May 31st. Um, I am pretty sure this filmed in February, so she was six months along before they took the test? Okay I googled and she got engaged in mid January. So yes five and a half or six months along before she acknowledged being pregnant. Continue reading
Well this is new, the pumpkin walls are starting in the hotel room on this episode. Was this filmed for the last season? Because watermelon is the new pumpkin. Also, we know the hotel would not let them paint the walls, so this is either a weird coincidence or proof of the CGI.
Candic is 27 and she pronounces her name just as one would if their parents were aware that it needed an ‘e’ on the end. I imagine people called her Can dick or Candy dick all through middle school. Thanks mom and dad! Candic is married and met Titus through “a retail app she uses for work.” He was shopping for a handbag?? And oh hey! He lives in her town and yet they have never met or spoken on the phone. She’s been married for seven years and has a four-year old daughter.
She is ready to meet the guy and then she will tell her husband about him. Unless, you know, he is really cute or something. She is an idiot. As Max says she should just stop talking to Titus and move on with life and not put all of this on TV.
I am calling this right now. The guy is her husband and they are doing this for attention and a new sofa. Or not. She won’t let the boys come to her house because her husband is home. So they meet at a bed and breakfast with gorgeous wood walls that need no CGI. It does look like they got new furniture though.
I’ll spare you the whole long traumatic childhood story with Candic. The boys get to work doing their basic Google search investigation that any 9-year-old could do. They carry out their investigation at a place that sells homemade marshmallows. Who knew that was a thing. I want one. Or six.
If it feels like we have been talking about this hideous storyline all day, it’s because we have. Here and also Here. I’m overly saturated with the topic and moreso but the morons that say things like, “this isn’t Bethenny’s fault it’s Tom’s.” Which is horseshit. Bethenny has been stabbing at Luann the entire season and has literally hired a fucking P.I. to follow Tom while she and Luann were in Florida. She is a despicable person. That is what we are here to discuss. Luann’s method of dealing with Tom’s ass has not been the focus of the show we are discussing.
Okay so it is one picture. And Bethenny seems to know that he left without paying his tab. She sure does know every little detail doesn’t she. It was super important for her to tell Luann that he left the girl with the check. She sure got her moneys worth.
Dorinda and Jules point out that the photo is not time stamped and could be from any time. As they console Luann, Bethenny’s minions come in to comfort her. Because really, this is all about Bethenny and her feelings. Ramona and Bethenny try to out fake cry each other. Ramona of course had it worse because she found out on Page Six, which she keeps repeating hoping someone will agree with her. Seriously, we are supposed to believe that Bethenny just ended Luann’s engagement and Bethenny is being the most dramatic person of them all. Ordering her minions to get her a drink and then leave the room because Lu is back and “she doesn’t want to do this as a group thing.” She had no problem telling the whole group before she dumped on Luann but now, she doesn’t want a group thing.
Kim Richards escaped another trip to the pokey today as she successfully convinced a judge that she had made sufficient progress with her community labor and AA meetings. According to the TMZ story she went before the judge in the Target shoplifting case He seemed to be the more lenient of the two judges in the first place.
I previously posted that it seemed as though Kim was working with a wild horse sanctuary to clock her community service hours. It seemed as though she would be going to help with the Malibu sanctuary’s move to Oregon last weekend. As it turns out, Kim simply went to say good-bye to the horses before their departure.
Also, there has been some confusing reporting on the actual amount of time she needed to serve for community labor. I looked back at the original report and the ruling was for 300 hours. It was also reported as “30 days” which is not how the sentence is generally measured. It is measured by hours so that the time can be measured in any hourly increments. I find the current report by TMZ to be a bit inaccurate.
Despite having the finale to recap tonight and a new post just today on Bethenny’s relentless attacks on Luann this season, I feel the need to post yet another piece on the vile nature of Bethenny Frankel’s behavior this season. She has spent the summer giving multiple interviews about RHONY this summer about how she doesn’t want to do anything related to RHONY this summer. She bemoans how the show (i.e. her nasty behavior) has been bad for her brand and she needs to rethink some things and does the usual lying about perhaps not coming back next season. Yet, don’t get your hopes up boys and girls. I’m afraid we are stuck with this wench.
Luann and Tom have moved past his indiscretion with the “former Playboy model” who has to my knowledge kept her name out of the press. Luann is far more disgusted with how Bethenny went about sharing her private investigation into her life with the world. It the information had just fallen into Bethenny’s lap, she should have handled it off camera. But as the facts continue to come out, it seems Bethenny was actively seeking out information on her relationship to inflict pain.
Luann shared new information with People.
“It was disgusting. Her handling of the situation – and I go over this at the reunion – was terrible. She could have went to Dorinda, who introduced us, and said ‘Look I have this.’ [But] she was like the cat who got the canary. Does a good friend do that to you? Someone who has your best interest in mind? No.”
“It’s not authentic,” she continued. “It’s made for television. And that’s what she is.”
In case you missed part one of the honeymoons episode, click here. The short version is Heather is going to be the bitch of the whole season. Contractually, they are required to stick it out, but I’d love it if she just left.
Tom and Lillian in Montego Bay Jamaica
Tom is still nervous about the whole “living in a bus” thing. So far he has told her that he owns his own place and is five minutes from the beach. Which is true. But, um….Tom… you really need to prep her for this in advance.
Activity for the day: Ziplining! They loved it. They love each other. It was beautiful. Let’s get on to the bus.
Instead we get on to the hot tub for sexy time. The next day they ride horses way out in the ocean. They did their pillow talk on horseback. It was a really beautiful scene.
During their dinner, Tom and Lillian start talking about the next step. Choosing where to live. Nick says he might just fall in love with Sonia’s place. She says he won’t because it is way too far from his work.